Motherhood brings a profound shift in self-identity that many women are unprepared for. Along with the love & beauty of being a mama often comes the feeling of loss of the self, as you transition into this 'self-less' nurturer mode. It is almost as if the self is pushed aside, with many of it's needs & desires.
The conflict of meeting the needs of our children & those of the mama arises, sometimes leading to guilt around maintaining women's health & well-being as it gets pushed further down the priority list. We as a society also tend to focus on the developmental needs of children but overlook the developmental needs of women in this life stage of motherhood (Matrescence).
Women's circles can act as Matrescence support for all mothers as they explore beautiful life-altering experiences & navigate challenges. There are so many things that many mamas feel, think & experience that don't get talked about enough or without shame. In the experience of motherhood, with it's highs & lows, the extraordinary & mundane - we are not alone. We just have to turn to each other & recognise it. We can serve as each other's mirrors & celebrators - encouraging & strengthening us all.
Circle principles govern this space that allow women to feel safe to open up & be real with themselves. In circle there is no feedback, comments or advice given - it is a space free of judgment. There is only love & respect for who you are & all you go through. This serves as ideal conditions for speaking your truth & examining your inner mental & emotional terrain.
We are all connected in this shared experience of being mothers. In circle we come as we are, give to ourselves & show compassion for others on a similar journey. Together with true presence & mindfulness we weave this space of appreciation & acceptance. We hold each other in this moment where all feel safe to share their stories & themselves & leave a little lighter.
In giving each other the uninterrupted space to talk by fully offering ourselves as listeners, we can build a trusting & compassionate environment that deepens our understanding of each other. Here, people can also feel safe to address deeper themes affecting themselves & their lives that often sit below the surface.
Not only is it beneficial to experience deep listening as the receiver but making yourself available as a deep listener can start to transfer to life outside of circle & positively change your relationships not only with others but also yourself. You may find that you naturally shift into a more compassionate view of yourself & become more kind & self-loving.
The intention of this space is for you to unravel in emotional safety & to also help others to do so. To speak without curating your response, to explore your thoughts & emotions in relation to different topics & to let it all come naturally. What comes through in this moment - consciously & unconsciously; unmet needs/insights/desires - all is allowed. We can learn to be gently present & mindful in the mess instead of diving into avoidance of difficult feelings & thoughts. In doing so we are connecting to ourselves & each other authentically & come to know who we are on a deeper level.
By coming to circle you are gifting yourself a break from everyday life & taking the time to reconnect to yourself & others in authenticity. This delivers a calming effect to all levels of your being. Surrendering to the present moment with your fellow mamas restores the tired mama soul.
The ritual of drinking Cacao in circle is important for opening up the heart & enhancing your ability to speak from a deeper place than just the mind. The physiological, mental, emotional & spiritual effects of this plant help you to access your intuition; often providing you with insights within circle or thereafter. Being in touch with your deeper self is imperative for identifying your core needs & desires; informing your inner work.
Connecting to each other in this intentional space creates a community where you are seen, heard, understood & validated. Sitting with fellow mamas in circle is an opportunity to meet new people, make friends & build supportive relationships that can extend to life outside of circle.
Often women's circles are described as having powerful healing effects, with sharing in these intentional boundaried spaces being referred to as medicine. This is due to the positive mental, emotional, physiological, social & spiritual effects of the experience that can shift you in your self-development.